10 Things No One Tells You About Destination Weddings
Planning a destination wedding is a dream for many couples who envision exchanging vows against a stunning backdrop, surrounded by loved ones.
While the idea of a destination wedding is undoubtedly exciting, the planning process comes with its unique set of challenges and surprises that not many people talk about.
Join me as I uncover the things no one tells you about destination weddings! While these truths may be off-putting, I offer solutions for them, too. There is nothing better than being prepared so you can set yourself up to avoid disappointment.
And just an FYI, don’t let these untold truths dissuade you from having a destination wedding. It’s the best decision we’ve ever made and would do it all over again!
1. Destination Weddings aren’t free – well, almost!
Many couples believe destination weddings are free if they’re at an all-inclusive resort. A lot of guests think this way too, but this isn’t the case. At all.
Destination weddings are often offered in tiered packages depending on the number of guests. Then there are your vendors, like DJ, photographer, hair and makeup, etc. While the average cost of a destination wedding is much less than a wedding at home, costs still add up!
How to be prepared: If you are looking to have a destination wedding on a budget, it is entirely possible. You just have to work with a great destination wedding travel agent (reach out to me if you need help with this!) and find resorts that offer free wedding packages and great perks and incentives, like in the Riviera Maya.
2. Your destination wedding may not be legal
Amongst the excitement of planning a destination wedding, there is one thing to consider: is it legal? This is important, especially if you’re deciding between a symbolic or legal destination wedding.
Each destination has its own set of rules and regulations, and navigating through the paperwork can be overwhelming. This is why 99% of couples, in my experience, opt for a symbolic wedding – but don’t let that throw you off of a legal ceremony!
How to be prepared: If you have your heart set on a legal destination wedding, be sure to research marriage requirements well in advance to allow time for planning and paperwork processing.
3. You may be disappointed with the RSVP list
This is a HUGE one! It’s easy to think that all your friends and family would leap at the chance to join you for your destination wedding, but in reality, this isn’t the truth.
Some guests may find it challenging to attend, whether it’s time or financial constraints. Be prepared for a range of reactions, and the ones you expect to attend might not, and those you considered as not attending may be the first to book (like in our case)!
I could go on about this for ages, but you can plan for roughly 60% of your guest list to attend your actual destination wedding. We both had key family members unable to attend.
In all my years in the destination wedding world, I can only recall one bride out of almost 10,000 who regretted having a destination wedding – and that was because she expected all her family and friends to be there.
How to be prepared: Don’t go in with the expectation that everyone you counted on being there will be there. Set yourself up for this reality – and don’t hold it against them. If you still want them to feel included, invite them to your legal ceremony at home (if you’re having a symbolic destination wedding) or plan an at-home reception.
4. You’ll be frustrated with planning
We like to think planning a destination wedding is a walk in the park all the time. And it can be (isn’t that one of the reasons to choose a destination wedding?!), but there can also be a ton of stress that goes into planning.
Whether it’s from guest RSVPs, added costs, guests dropping out (or showing up unexpectedly), weather-related stress, things will get frustrating. You may even feel like throwing in the towel. I promise you it’ll all be worth it!
How to be prepared: Be sure to work with a destination wedding travel agent from the start who can help field most of your guest inquiries. Lean on the advice from past brides through planning Facebook groups who have been through it all. And just breathe – it’ll all work out in the end!
5. You may not be able to get a hold of your wedding coordinator
Speaking of being frustrated…there’s a strong possibility you’ll have a hard time getting a hold of your wedding coordinator.
Wedding coordinators at resorts often don’t reach out until the 3 month mark, which can be daunting if you’re trying to get questions answered and plan your budget.
I assure you this is normal. Not helpful, but normal. Coordinators are busy working on weddings ahead of yours, so while we get it, it doesn’t help!
How to be prepared: If you are really struggling to get a hold of your wedding coordinator, get your travel agent involved. It also helps to have a list of questions to ask when you do connect, so you have all your bases covered. Facebook groups specific to the resort you’re getting married at are also great resources for questions you want answered without having to wait for a response from your coordinator.
6. Everything costs extra
Taxes, vendor fees, exchange rates, oh my!
Destination weddings come with unexpected costs. I’ll just be upfront about it! With add-ons adding up (literally), taxes and gratuities, extra guests, setup fees, vendor fees, and last minute expenses, it can feel like there’s no end to the cost.
How to be prepared: Have a buffer in your budget so you can handle these unexpected surprises (without too much stress)! If additional costs are due to wedding contract pricing changes, be sure to keep a copy of your original contract to compare any fine print. If you’ve locked your wedding contract in, that pricing should still hold in the event of any price hikes.
7. The weather may not be sunshine and blue skies
I know, I know. No one likes to talk about the possibility of rain on their wedding day. But the reality is, it can happen. This is why you absolutely need a backup plan for your ceremony and reception.
One of the biggest destination wedding mistakes you can make is to ignore the possibility of unfavourable weather.
Be sure to check out your backup options well in advance to avoid any disappointment. And hey, I’ve seen some stunning setups that weren’t at all what the bride originally planned, but worked out even better than the original plan!
I attended a friend’s destination wedding and it poured right before the reception on a rooftop terrace. We were moved to an air-conditioned ballroom. Everyone stayed cool and it was private. What’s not to love?
How to be prepared: Have a backup plan in case Mother Nature decides to surprise you. Check weather patterns even before booking your destination wedding. For example, weddings might be cheaper in October in the Caribbean, but there’s also a greater chance of hurricanes. Also – we can’t change the weather! You have to just go with it, and make the most of it.
8. The privacy may not be what you expect
I’ll just be honest – you’ll have onlookers. This is especially true if your destination wedding is at a resort. There are tons of people milling about, watching your wedding, photobombing your photos (intentionally or not!).
However, most weddings that happen at resorts are tucked away at a secluded area, at a time of the day when there aren’t huge crowds, and wedding coordinators help field off any looky-loos that might get in the way.
Looking back at our own wedding in Mexico, I saw after the fact all the people watching our wedding. I didn’t notice at the time, and I guarantee you won’t either!
How to be prepared: Manage your expectations. A destination wedding won’t always guarantee that exclusive use of an area for your “I dos.” Accept that a passerby might catch a glimpse of your celebration, and that’s ok!
9. Things may not go to plan
You’ve crossed your T’s, dotted your I’s, yet something still veers off course. Welcome to the reality of destination weddings, where the unexpected is more rule than exception.
You might think you’ve covered every angle, but you may still get surprises. Even the tightest plans unravel – flight delays, vendor delays, flowers aren’t quite what you envisioned, or perhaps the cake that looked stunning online looks less than perfect (ours was hideous, but we went with it!).
How to be prepared: Stay flexible and remember that some things are out of your control. Instead of fixating on perfection, focus on the big picture – you’re marrying the love of your life, and that’s what truly matters. If the day brings a mishap or two, take them in stride. Often, these unexpected hiccups make for good stories later on. Contact numbers for all vendors should be on speed dial, and lean on your wedding coordinator to handle the nitty-gritty.
10. The wedding blues hit hard
As with any major life event, once it’s over, it’s natural to feel down. It was so hard for me to come to terms that our wedding was finally over and it was back to reality. I struggled for a long time – probably 9 months or so, wishing we could do it all over again!
How to be prepared: Get involved in wedding planning groups and share your advice. This was a life saver for me (and look at me, a decade later, still sharing advice and tips!). Plan an anniversary trip. Create a shadow box with wedding memories. Find another new hobby. And talk to your loved ones about it. Heck, you can even email me! It’s a normal feeling, and that’s ok!